just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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