Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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