The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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