i jhust puked up my retainher.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
