So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Acid is not a monday night drug
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
