Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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