I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
