We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
