Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just gargled with NyQuil
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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