Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
