I just pynch a tree in the face
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
