i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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