Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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