I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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