Plan B is the new Plan A
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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