drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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