normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
