There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
