It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
