love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
