Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
