P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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