I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize