I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
