remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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