I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
