12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
