Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it's like iHOP with fire
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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