you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
