if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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