Pappa wants mamma naked
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
