FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
