a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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