What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
