I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is my gift to your gina
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
