So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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