I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
