I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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