That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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