I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
zippers are such a cool invention
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
