I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
