Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
