Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
