Porn is love you can see.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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