is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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