Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
