I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
