Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
