next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
