the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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