rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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