Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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