oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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