i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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